Sunday, March 5, 2017

tender mercies

tender mercy: "very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, love-kindnesses, consolation, support and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ"
--David A. Bednar

I know that satan is the source of our panic, fear, confusion, stress, and worry. Our Father in heaven will always reassure us, lead us, enlighten us, forgive us, calm us, encourage us and comfort us. I know that every day tender mercies are our Father in heavens way of reassuring us that he is accepting our honest efforts to become more like him. At the end of some days I am not sure how I kept it together and got through my day. As I ponder on my day it's the little things that happened throughout the day that remind me that my Father in heaven knows my struggles, he knows who I am and what I need at any given moment. The tender mercies I receive are not random and do not happen by coincidence. There are Sunday's when I start my day off with a prayer and ask the Lord to just let me know that He knows I am doing my best and that it is adequate because I feel like my best is not good enough. Tender mercies for me come a lot through the hymns we sing in church. Today we were singing a hymn and the words went;
"Make all my wants and wishes known. In seasons of distress and grief, my soul has often found relief and oft escaped the tempter's snare by thy return, sweet hour of prayer!...Believe his word, and trust his grace, I'll cast on him my ev'ry care, and wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!"
I do not deserve the love that I feel every Sunday. When I think of all the blessings I truly have in this life already and to know that as long as I am diligent and faithful those blessings will only increase truly is humbling. Faith is trust. God sees what we cannot, and He knows what we do not. He knows what we need exactly when we need it, our trials and delays we may feel are calculated to bless. 
In first Nephi, it reads;
"..But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them might even unto the power of deliverance." 
Tender mercies. Our Savior will send us the most personal and timely messages of comfort and reassurance. The Lord's timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them. As I was fasting for a very specific thing today, I was enlightened on other things that I can improve and work on to receive the guidance that I was asking for. I get so caught up about what I can change about an outside situation that I don't recognize that it is an opportunity for myself to change. Challenges that are put in front of me are opportunities for me to grow closer to my Savior and Father in heaven, to rely on them, and to seek comfort in them. 
"The gift of faith and an appropriate sense of personal confidence that reaches beyond our own capacity are two examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. Repentance and forgiveness of sins and peace of conscience are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. And the persistence and the fortitude that enable us to press forward with cheerfulness through physical limitations and spiritual difficulties are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord".
I can't help but think about how lucky I am to know these things are true. To be comforted in knowing that for certain I am never alone. The Savior suffered for me, He knows me by name. He knows what I struggle with, He knows the desires of my heart, He knows the inadequacies I feel on a daily basis, and He knows what I need help with. Because of this I can rely on the love of my Savior and Father in heaven that never falters and never changes. It is infinite. Our father in heaven has an overwhelming desire for us to return to Him. He will accept our efforts as long as we are doing what we can do, in the best way we know how. 

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Sundays

Without Sunday's I'm pretty sure I would have no peace of mind throughout my week. No matter what the topic the speakers are given there is always a personal message that I am needing to hear.

Lately, I have been asking a lot about what my next steps in life should be. I've been seeking guidance or confirmation that I am making decisions that are going to benefit me and the plan my Father in Heaven has for me. It's very hard for me to make decisions, and I don't ever make them lightly. I stress out about the littlest things for weeks and make myself sick over things. I've been very emotional lately about the direction my life is headed and how my decisions affect my goals and aspirations that I have set for myself.

Today in church the opening hymn was "I Believe in Christ"; a hymn I've probably sung 100 times or more. But today, as I was singing it I was really paying attention to the words instead of just singing. The fourth verse hit me today. The fourth verse says:
"I believe in Christ, he stands supreme! From Him I'll gain my fondest dream, and while I strive through grief and pain, His voice is heard: "Ye shall obtain". I believe in Christ. So come what may. With him I'll stand in that great day. When on this earth he comes again, to rule among the sons of men".

The first 10 minutes of church and my Father in Heaven let me know that he hears my prayers. He knows the struggles I am going through. He knows that I am having trouble making important decisions. I know that from Him and through Him I am able to accomplish the huge goals I have set for myself. "Ye shall obtain". Three words that had me crying in sacrament today. I will get there. Maybe not right now and not without troubles, but I will obtain. My Father in Heaven and Savior have made that promise to me. He will not forsake me. And because I believe in Christ; come what may. There are going to be things I can not control. Days I am going to be so stressed I cry. Weeks where things may not be going exactly to plan. I do not have to worry because I believe in Christ and I believe in my Fathers plan for me.

When I stopped trying to make my own plan work for me, and I started to follow the plan the Savior and my heavenly father have for me my life changed. Through Christ all things are possible. By staying close to our Father in heaven and our Savior, by remaining worthy and doing the things we are asked to do, we will receive the righteous desires of our hearts. When we listen to the Holy Ghost and his promptings we will be able to receive the constant reminders that our Heavenly Father and Jesus know who we are. Today I wrote down "Let our Father in heaven guide you to do the work he needs you to do". They know us individually, I will get where I need to be.

A close friend once gave me this quote "It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." Such an amazing promise, that gives me so much peace of mind. This Sunday I received the guidance that I have been seeking. He knows exactly who I am. I can not say this enough. Our Heavenly Father and Jesus know who we are, they know our hearts.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

my skincare must-haves

Hey guys!

Today I wanted to talk about some of my skincare must-haves. If you're anything like me then having a skincare routine is like a saving grace; especially during the fall/winter. I personally have combination skin-dry here and there and oily in my t-zone. When the weather changes my skin changes too. I've finally got a skincare routine that can keep up with my ever changing skin. I have been using the same products religiously for a little over a year now.
A little background on my skin--I have very acne prone skin. It's very sensitive and everything makes me break out. It was very frustrating for the longest time. I felt like no matter what I put on my skin to help it made things worse. I have done two rounds Accutane to help get rid of my acne and with my current skincare routine I have been able to effectively keep my acne under control.

Here are the products I am currently using:
Pictured Products:
--Lush tea tree water and cotton rounds                                  --Equate night-time soothing face wipes
--Lush mask of magnaminty                                                      --Korres greek Yoghurt
--Lush dark angels facial cleanser                                             --Mario Badescu drying lotion
--Philosophy the microdelivery exfoliating facial wash          --Doterra Oils
--Lush grease lightening                                                             --Organic coconut oil
--Lush Shampoo bar; Jason and the Argan oil                          --Belif face wash and Mia Clarisonic

I try to use as many products with natural ingredients because my skin is so sensitive. Focusing on products without dyes, added fragrances and preservatives has dramatically helped my skin. So I break down my skincare routine into everyday use, weekly use and spot treatment. Lets start with what products I use everyday.

Every morning I wake up wash my face (twice), use my toner water, then my tea tree cleanser and then lotion all before putting on my makeup. Then I do this routine after my day is over and after I've used my makeup wipes. 
I always start by washing my face with a gentle cleanser. This particular belif cleanser has no synthetic dyes, fragrances, preservative or any animal origin ingredients. This cleanser is great for all skin types and has Soapwort and Wormwood to help detoxify skin. I usually put a penny size amount on my Mia Clarisonic and wash for about 2 minutes to really get rid of anything on my skin.
Next, I will use the microdelivery exfoliating facial wash. I always wash with this second because it is exfoliating and creates a nice smooth canvas for my makeup. It is gentle enough to use everyday and its great for all skin types. I just work this face wash around with my finger tips.
Lush tea tree water; need I say more? This toner is amazing; so amazing that I'm currently on my 5th bottle. This toner helps keep you skin clear and balanced. Tea tree, juniper berry and grapefruit water keep you skin looking fresh and also work together to balance your skin tone, reduce redness and clear excess oil without over drying your skin. I just spray a few pumps onto a cotton round and use it all over.
The cleanser--grease lightning is honestly just as amazing. With using these two products everyday my skin has stayed clear, with only minor breakouts. I am on my 5th bottle of this product as well.
Last, my face lotion. I have been using Korres greek yoghurt; which is a nourishing moisturizer. This product is made from all natural ingredients and greek yogurt! It's not a heavy moisturizer (light enough to wear under makeup) but it leaves my skin hydrated. 


So I do use these everyday, I use them at the end of my day or after the gym to take off my makeup. I always start with these but I will still use face wash afterwards to make sure I get all my makeup off my skin.
These makeup remover wipes are life. I like them more than any other makeup wipes I have used, including any ones I have tried from Sephora. I get these at Walmart and I buy the double pack. So I get 80 wipes for a little over 6 dollars; you honestly can't beat that price! There are a lot of different types of these wipes; I just prefer the night-time soothing ones. 

These are the products I use on a weekly basis or for spot treatments.
These are the products I will usually use once a week or more often if my skin looks especially dull or needs a little TLC.
The mask of magnaminty from Lush is my favorite ever. This is a deep-cleansing face/body mask that has china clay and peppermint to clean deep down and pull dirt from your pores. It also makes your face a little tingly! It also has aduki beans which exfoliate, vanilla to calm redness, and honey to soothe. If you haven't ever tried this product do yourself a favor and try it!
The dark angels cleanser from Lush is great for acne prone skin. The black sugar and charcoal exfoliate and absorb excess oils; which leaves your face very matte. It also has rhassoul mud base which help to prevent breakouts and avocado oil to nourish skin. This cleanser leaves my face so bright and smooth.
The Mario Badescu drying lotion is a spot treatment. I will put it on any zits that I want to go down overnight.And lastly is the pure Argan oil. I use this when I have incredibly dry skin. I will forego my regular face lotion and put this oil on right before I go to bed and let it soak in; then I wake up and wash my face because sometimes it can leave you looking really oily.

These are pretty self explanatory. I use coconut oil for everything! I also use pure tea tree oil on any ingrown hairs I might have; it helps soothe them and make the redness go away. I sometimes will also add a few drops of tea tree oil to my shampoo if my scalp is dry and itchy. Just be careful if you do this and you also color your hair. Tea tree oil can be used to clarify hair and sometimes if you use it too often it can make hair color fade faster. I will only add this to my shampoo once time a week. Last are my doterra oils. I couldn't find my Lavender oil but that is the only I mainly use. I always put a few drops on my bottom of my feet and it really helps me sleep better at night. 

So this is not really skincare but it has got to be one of my favorite products right now! This is the Jason and the Argan oil shampoo bar from Lush. It smells heavenly. This shampoo helps make hair stronger, shinier and softer. This bar can last up to 80 washes and it costs around twelve dollars. That's a pretty good deal. This shampoo has moroccan argan oil to help moisturize, and it is scented with lemon-rose perfume. I have been obsessing over this shampoo, or hippy stuff as my dad calls it!

I hope this post has been useful to you guys! I love skincare, hair care and anything to do with makeup so I am hoping to post more of those types of blog posts. If you guys have any products you can't live without comment below and tell me what they are; I am always looking for new products to try!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

the big move

Do you ever decide something so randomly you just can't help but go with it? No? Me either. But that's what happened approximately 4 weeks ago when I decided to pack up what I could and move to Arizona. Life is weird. And this is by far the most random thing I've done with my life. I am a planner and doing things on a whim doesn't sit well with me. 

2016 started out relatively safe. I was back in school finally working towards finishing my bachelors; I was working two jobs that I loved 90% of the time. I was a dental assistant during the week and then also a server some nights\weekends. I spent most of my free times doing school work, but I also had time to go to the farmers market on Saturday morning, have early morning breakfast with my friends and even see my family most days. I was blessed with a schedule that worked for me and allowed me to do the things I loved. I was comfortable and content with life. April rolled around and I was well into my second semester at Eastern Oregon University. I took a trip to Arizona to visit Chels and Rach and their babies. This was a turning point in my year. I realized just how unhappy I was with my life in Idaho. I had grown accustomed to certain things and that's why I tolerated the way my life was going. 


After my week long vacation I never felt true joy being in Idaho anymore. Unless you count spending time with the family and true friends I had there, of course. My jobs no longer made me happy, I dreaded having such a busy schedule. I tried to make it work; thinking to myself it was just a hump I had to get over. 


One of my "friends" was getting married later in the year and I tried religiously to help with whatever she might have needed. Her maid of honor quit her wedding which was awful to say the least but things were falling apart for her. Randomly she decided to add me and another friend to her wedding party a month before her wedding. Anything for a friend right? Of course. I spend the next 3 weeks at her beck-n-call helping her get her last minute details together. Deciding this or that, what decorations she wanted where and so on. All of this only to have her TEXT me telling me that I was no longer in her wedding party because her fiancĂ© didn't want to ask someone to be a groomsmen. Random? Yes. Was I hurt? Of course. But what hurt worse was that there was no effort to let me know I was still welcome at the wedding; that she still wanted me there by her side when everything was going down that day. But apparently she was stressed and stress allows you to treat your "friends" poorly. I have nothing but love for her in my heart and wish her the best, but I refuse to allow people to have a huge part of my life when they treat me like second best. 


After this happened I was kind of at the end of my rope. I had a knot and I was hanging on for dear life. I went through the motions but often found myself in tears thinking that this is all my life would ever be. I thought about how years would pass and I would still be doing the same thing. I knew things needed to change. I posted my furniture on the classifieds page and 4 hours later my home was practically empty. I had clothes, kitchen stuff and a bed left. I suddenly felt this weight lift. As much as I loved Mountain Home for being my hometown I knew I could never grow into the woman I was supposed to become living there. I had lived back in Mountain Home for 3 years following my divorce and with that still over me in that little city; I knew it was time for a change. 


When I realized I was living a life I was not proud of I knew changes needed to be made. 


On August 22, 2016 my mom and my wonderful brother helped me pack all my stuff up in my little cavalier and a mini van and we headed off to Arizona. I was nervous and I cried a lot the night before we left. Had I just made a huge mistake? Probably. Would things work out? Most definitely. I was leaving behind a great job and a second job that brought in income. I was living on my own and independent, which made me happy. Now I was leaving all of the for what? A feeling I had that life would be better for me outside this town I called home? The Lord has a much bigger plan than we have for ourselves and that has been my greatest lesson this past month. 


This month in Arizona has brought more happiness than my years in Idaho. I firmly believe it's because mentally and spiritually I am able to be in a better place here. I miss my friends dearly but they understand the necessity of the move. I miss my mom and brothers even more but family is forever, so they're stuck with me for the long haul. I've even been growing my eyelashes back, which is a miracle! (Yes, my hair and eyelashes fall off and break when I'm stressed, how unlucky right?!) 


I start school and work again next week. I truly believe I needed this month surrounding myself with unconditional love to remind myself that life is not bad. Bad days, or months, definitely do not equal a bad life. The Lord can only give us the blessings we are willing and able to receive. Sometimes trials are blessings in disguise, opening our hearts to different things in life. 


Since moving to Arizona I have been blessed to be able to attend the most loving ward with my sisters family. Everyone is so welcoming and they will shower you with compliments every Sunday, who doesn't like to hear nice things about themselves? Attending church brings a peace to me that lets me know my Heavenly Father and Savior know who I am. They know the trials I am going through, they know the desires of my heart and they know me. Every Sunday it's amazing to me that the speakers that talk have something to say directly to me. Our Heavenly Father knows what we need to hear. My testimony has been able to grow so much just in the past month and I know it will continue to do so. I love the Gospel and the blessings it brings into my life. 


Life with continue to change, I'm sure. Many more things will probably go wrong and that's okay. Life is about constantly moving forward and progressing. I have nothing but hope for the happy things that are going to come.